Turns out our Mysql server at work is a little bigger than I thought:
Databases 75
Tables    1,549
Rows      1,018,085,348
However over the last couple of months, we’ve only averaged 130 queries/second
Hacked up PHP to gather stats:
class MysqlCounter
{
    public function __construct($host, $username, $password)
    {
        $this->conn = mysql_connect($host, $username, $password, true);
    [...]

This website is now hosted on Slicehost (along with section99.net). It’s a little early to know how it will turn out, but so far I’m loving having not only a shell, but root access.
Signing up was completely painless and the the VPS was provisioned within minutes with several different operating system options (though [...]

<?php

/*

    Some hacked up code for Very Simple (Pretend) SQL Paramaters
    — For when you don’t have PDO, or just can’t be bothered

    Examples:

        >>> SQL("SELECT * FROM users WHERE id=? AND name LIKE ?", 123, ‘"123\"’);
        SELECT * FROM users WHERE id=123 AND name LIKE [...]

This is a simple script that will print the average qps (using a specidied peri0d) for one or more MySQL databases. If doesn’t have many practical uses, but it’s fun to watch when running large imports or exports.
Screenshot

<?php
/*

    qpsmon.php  v0.1

    This is an (extremely) simple script that will get the average
    [...]

mysql>  SELECT "50" > 100, 50 > "100", "100" > 50, 100 > "50", "100" > "50", "50" > "100";
+————+————+————+————+————–+————–+
| "50" > 100 | 50 > "100" | "100" > 50 | 100 > "50" | "100" > "50" | "50" > "100" |
+————+————+————+————+————–+————–+
|          0 |          0 [...]

matthewd@carbonara:~$ mysql
Welcome to the MySQL monitor.  Commands end with ; or \g.
Your MySQL connection id is 2792799
Server version: 5.0.38-log Gentoo Linux mysql-5.0.38

Type ‘help;’ or ‘\h’ for help. Type ‘\c’ to clear the buffer.

mysql> use b3
Reading table information for completion of table and column names
You can turn off this feature to get a quicker startup with [...]